Baby, do you know how much i love you? How much you captivated me the past year in a half ive known you? Ive grown attached to you , loving you more and more. Do you know how special you are to me. Your the first to hold my heart. I find it scary to lose you to another girl. I dont want that to ever happen so i believe. Your mine and only i can call you my own. Dont leave me and stay by my side. Forever with the smile on our faces. promise?
I bet if you looked in my brown eyes you wouldn’t suspect that I was broken or torn apart. I bet if you watched me smile at something cute, or laugh hysterically at something not even worth laughing at, you would of never guessed that I am sad, and probably always will be. You would see me…
You know, one day i fell in love. I never knew i wouldve fell for him this hard. Hes my everything and hes my first (not boyfriend) but the first to actually give my all and everything. Without him i dont know what ill do. But i wonder if he knows. I wanna be in his arms.. i wanna just be there for him.. but i cant see him. I wait and wait for him to come but it hurts me as i wait because deep in my heart.. i have these big hopes that he’ll come and i get to be in his arms… but as days go by and he dont come, thats when my heart starts feels like its been punched with all the scars and bruises. Patience slowly dies down.. Im upset. I really am. But i dont really say anything to him.. because what if its just me.. I guess im just stupid like that. I wonder how much longer i can hold.. i want him to come NOW… if only that really happens.
You know i dont blame anything for the shit in my life. Wether i really deserved it or not, i wont say its particularly anyones fault. I chose the path to the road im going to take which will lead to my future. Yes , like everyone i make mistakes.. I regret and i get emotional breakdowns. Let’s just say im not one of those strong hearted people who knows how to stand ground and guarded. Im apparently labeled ” Too nice” and you know there are times when people think theyre so superior they think they got the right to use someone and then throw them away. Yeah im the victim at times. Its really annoying too, to the point that i wanna smack the living crap outta them. Theres reasons to everything.
10193.) I'm extremely sick and tired of you always hurting me. My heart can only handle so many beatings. This has been going on far too long, so I decided to let you go. I was going to move on and be happy without you in my life. But I can't. Sitting here now and thinking about it, I might actually need you, and I hate myself for it. You've left me so scarred that leaving you behind would be like leaving myself behind.